Catching
the MESSAGE
Traditionally, I have learned through my professional life and
academics that we have 2 types of communication namely verbal and non-verbal.
While I have always been excellent in catching the verbal piece as its
hard-core words (written / spoken), I still face a huge challenge catching the
non-verbal.
Nowadays the range of non-verbal communication is turning out to be vaster
than I could ever imagine. While I always thought the non-verbal were primarily
body language, eye contact, tone, gestures, proximity etc, now I feel it’s much
more then what I always thought. With
the growing usage of social media ranging from Wats App to Facebook, I feel
people are invariably communicating non-verbally more through their DPs
(Display Pictures), smileys and statuses (although it verbal still indirect). It’s
just about developing the skills of catching the right emotions and sentiments.
I met one of my friends who apparently had a break-up with his long
standing girlfriend. He rode a Royal Enfield to work. One day I observed that
the pillion seat had disappeared. When asked about the disappearance of the
pillion seat, he just mentioned that the bike looks good without it. But maybe
the inquisitive Sachin, wasn’t really satisfied with that answer. After much of
indirect probing and beating around the bush I realized that the removal of the
pillion seat was a message to his girlfriend that he doesn’t need her anymore
and is happy now been alone.
This incident made me think of the many non-verbal communications that
I have been missing out for such a long time. Off late people have developed
too many unconventional ways of speaking out their mind. It’s just about
catching the right sentiments.
We keep wondering on how people quit jobs and relations suddenly
without any explanation or intimation. The fact remains that even those people
may have given some non-verbal messages which we were unable to catch.
Been a part of HR for several years now, I have always been taught and
advised by my bosses to have a feel of the floor, to be very precise ‘pulse of
the floor’. While we depend too much on what we hear (intentionally not using
the word listens here). We tend to get into the mode of verbatim documentation
of exactly what we hear. In this whole bargain we somehow miss out largely on
the non-verbal undercurrents which actually define the organization’s health.
It’s high time that as professionals we shift focus towards capturing the
non-verbal sentiments.
In a larger context, developing the skill to catching the non-verbal
part would help making our communication with people more meaningful.
Sachin Kodolikar
How very true & well put forward.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shahrukh
DeleteIf only one notices the non-verbal part of the communication, talking would be so much easier.
ReplyDeleteIndeed...true essence of communication... BTW...would u mention ur name...
DeleteHear... Listen... and the new one OBSERVE or SEE.
ReplyDeleteWow, really good observation Sachin.
Thanks Rohan... Ur take away... Do meet me... To observe... Rather than just talking on phone..
DeleteVery good message. ..I liked the topic. ..specially the non-verbal type of communication part . ..really appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Eva...its all abt observing.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! In fact, a lot of times I've found non verbal cues to be more accurate of a person's thought process than direct communication. :)
ReplyDeleteYes Deepak...non verbal cues are usually unadulterated
ReplyDeleteTruly observation is the key to understand these kind of non verbal gestures. We tend to ignore them in our busy schedules. Good article.
ReplyDeleteTruly observation is the key to understand these kind of non verbal gestures. We tend to ignore them in our busy schedules. Good article.
ReplyDeleteTruly observation is the key to understand these kind of non verbal gestures. We tend to ignore them in our busy schedules. Good article.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nivi... I need to calibrate myself as well on this..
ReplyDelete