Thanksgiving Letter

To,

The Government

 

Sub:       Letter of Thanksgiving

Dear Government,

Thank you for ensuring we have one more event (Elphinstone bridge stampede) to talk about for the next few days. We were bored talking about rains, water logging and potholes. This incident came in as a breath of fresh air. We all were quite busy the entire day viewing pics and videos of how the stampede happened and the icing on the cake was the close-up pics of the 22 dead bodies with numbers written on their forehead. People who had names as their identities, got converted into a numbers within few minutes.

All this while I used to feel that there is no guaranteed tomorrow but thank you for making me realise that there isn’t even a guaranteed today. Thank you for making me realise the importance of a life insurance policy along with accidental coverage and medi-claim as well. Now I am waiting for my insurance company to call me and ask for a top up cover. Thank you for making me realise that I have to do all my work as of yesterday, as I may not have a tomorrow neither I may not have a full of today.

I will now meet my entire family before leaving for work as they may not see me in the evening. We maintain an excel file on the number of investment / debts we have and keep updating it on quarterly basis, but now I promise I will update it on a daily basis. I will stop aspiring for increments and promotions because now I will only aspire to reach office alive and likewise return home alive.

Thank you for giving a meaty topic for the daily evening debates on news channels. Few intellectuals actually got an opportunity to display their prudence because of this event. All thanks to you.

These incidents actually make us forget our own miseries for a while as we realise there are bigger problems prevailing. Thank you for increasing our tolerance level to an unfathomable limit. I actually lacked tolerance but I feel soon I will reach a stage of Nirvana.

One thing you really need to worry about is in the next election you may fall short of 22 votes because they just died, I am sure you will pocket all the other votes. Anyways people will forget the place Elphinstone as you have already rechristened it to Prabhadevi.   

I would like to take this opportunity of thanking you for many more things such as previously I paid numerous taxes but now I pay only one tax (although it’s on the higher side). Now with this ever increasing fuel prices even I ensure my driving quality is better so that I attain optimum fuel efficiency. Now I proudly tell my friends in U.S. and Australia that we are going to have a bullet train running between Ahmedabad and Mumbai. Suggest the next bullet train project should be from Ahmedabad to Delhi. So eventually both Mumbai and Delhi will get concentrated in Ahmedabad.  

Don’t worry about these petty incidences such as the one that happened in Elphinstone. I am sure the previous government is responsible for all this. Let’s focus on our growth trajectory. Bullet train, I am eagerly waiting for you.  And, of course not to forget the efforts and hard work you have put in changing names of most of our railway stations

And a final thanks to all my fellow Mumbaikars who played Garba today in spite of this tragic event. I guess people call it Spirit of Mumbai. I live in a city that never sleeps, people don’t sleep they just accidentally die.

 

Warm Regards

Happy Mumbaikar